The Friday night blues

Another Friday night and weekend is here and I find myself once again wondering what to do with myself. The single life just isn’t working for me – I’m not adapting very well. I have no parents anymore, nor any grandchildren to visit with.

I would imagine being single and young could be a very exciting time in one’s life – going out with friends to clubs or movies and just hanging out.

When one is older though, the single life is painful – no one to visit with on evenings or weekends because everyone else is married or in a relationship and they do things together. I am the odd person out.

I have tried thinking of options, but none are appealing. Sitting alone at movies or restaurants, watching all the couples – no thanks. Ditto for coffee shops. I have tried working on crafts, gardening, laundry, and other general busywork but that’s all it is – busywork.

How I would love a friend to hang out with the odd evening. How I miss my husband – my date, my friend, my partner. Even if we did nothing, just being together was enough. I would love that feeling again. At this point in my life I’m not looking for romance – I just want a hang out buddy to go out for coffee, or go the museum, or even see a movie. Someone to go for a drive with in my classic car. Just a friend, that’s all. We all need a friend.

What do you do on the lonely evenings?

A Scarlet Letter….

As I go through my days meeting new people and going to new places, I have often had the feeling I am wearing some sort of ‘scarlet letter’ or whatever today’s equivalent is. Meeting and visiting with people is the fuel that keeps me going as I struggle through my days, so I find it difficult to deal with rejection – no, that’s too strong a word – more like avoidance.

I have come out of my introvert shell these past few years and have really enjoyed the company of people – it helps me survive. I have tried many times to connect with others to go on outings or even just for coffee, but it seems like everyone is too busy, (I get that, everyone is busy at times), or worst of all, is the unanswered messages. I send messages out but they float off into cyberspace, never to be acknowledged.

If we get together for coffee, I won’t cry if you mention my husband’s name, I won’t wear black and sit in a corner, and I promise you, I didn’t cause his passing. I’ve had people back away from me when it comes up in conversation that he is gone. I didn’t do him in, really, and it’s not contagious, so no need for worry.

I guess people figure widows and widowers are strong and don’t need social support because we get up every day and carry on with life’s obligations. We may be strong, but we still need to be loved and cared for by others. It’s just how all people are made.

Take a widow or widower out for coffee today – you may just save their life. No one should go through their days alone with a broken heart.